Psalm 23 - The Sheep Version & The Goat Version

For the Sheep

     The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.  He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:  he leadeth me beside the still waters.  He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.  Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil:  for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.  Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:  thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

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For the Goats

     The TV is my shepherd
I shall want
It makes me to lie down on the sofa
It leads me away from the faith
It destroys my soul
It leads me to the path of sex and violence for the advertisers sake
Yeah though I walk in the shadow of Christian responsibilities
There will be no interruption
For the TV is with me
It's cable and remote control
They comfort me
It prepares a commercial for me in the presence of my worldliness
It annoints my head with humanism and consummerism
My coveting runneth over
Surely laziness and ignorance shall follow me all the days of my life
And I shall dwell in the house watching TV forever.